Archive for April, 2006 — Page 2 of 3



If You Can’t Parallel Park…

How-to Parallel ParkThen don’t. I mean sure, you should probably learn to parallel park before they give you a license, but that would be in a perfect world. Ours is far from it, I realize; however, the sheer number of people on Call St. whose cars were hanging all out in the road was staggering. It was like a 1:1 ratio with those parked correctly.

If you can’t handle it, you should learn or park elsewhere.

Here are some parallel parking tips courtesy of TeenDriving.com:

The S method

  1. Signal and pull up approx. 3 feet away from the car you want to park behind, aligning your rear tires with the other car’s rear bumper.
  2. Put car into REVERSE, and turn wheels ALL THE WAY to the RIGHT.
  3. Slowly back-up until you are at a 45 degree angle. STOP.
  4. Turn the wheels ALL THE WAY to the LEFT. (Walter from a driver’s school in Canada from yd.com recommends that you roll very slowly while you turn the wheels to avoid putting damaging stress on the tire sidewalls and steering components.)
  5. Slowly back-up until you are parallel with the curb.

If done correctly you should be less then 12 inches from the curb.
Practice will improve your judgment.

del.icio.us Links for 2006-04-19

Here are some more places on the net you might like, but you don’t have to take my word for it… Oh, wait, yes you do…

Poor Johnny Ashcroft

Here's Johnny!This Washington Post article gave me a good chuckle…

Turns out John Ashcroft’s speaking engagement at WSU Vancouver on (chuckle all you want) national security and civil liberties sold only 100 advance tickets.

Why would this surprise anyone? He is an intensely bland speaker. I see him on TV and I change the channel, whereas with Bush I watch to see what stupid thing he’ll say next or what simple word he might butcher.

At least they managed to lure 700 people into his clutches by the time the speech started.

The Web IS Junkmail

Fry and Leela knowSurfing the internet had become more like wading through junk mail. For every useful or informative site I find myself browsing, I first endure 3 - 5 useless sites. By useless I mean its either 5 years old, attempting to sell you a product or service, or it falls into some other class of marketing bullshit.

My first gripe is that so many of the sites on the internet haven’t been updated in 5 years, others even longer since an update… I propose a fix for this, which is especially important given the ever dwindling supplies of .com domain names (see the statistics here), “Domain Reclamation.” I mean you figure, we lease our domain names, thus we should upkeep them just like we would an apartment or any other leased object. Why not evict domain name holders? Now before we dance down the long slippery slope, let me clarify- by evict I mean if your site has not been updated in more than two years (meaning by your second renewal) you receive an e-mail saying “update it or lose it.” No taking it to give it to the e-marketeer willing to pay more than poor Joe Public, just removing neglected sites from unsuitable homes and reselling them to a good home that will tend them.

As for sales and marketing, they are annoying… But necessary to fuel our capitalist economy, if nobody bought Chuck Norris‘ latest home fitness machine or Billy Mays‘ new acid that eats the linoleum off floors, our economy might tank. What does annoy me is the growing number of sites that try to charge you membership fees to read articles and obtain information, for example the NY Times and various library services. Now moving porn sites to a .xxx domain would free up a lot of great names (like Tossed Salad for example) and make keeping your child away from it an easier task.

Regardless, if it’s this bad after 10 or 12 years, what will the net look like in another 10 to 15?

Hours Wasted…

HotelI just wasted two perfectly good hours of my life watching watching “Hotel.” The film, by Mike Figgis (”Timecode” and “Leaving Las Vegas”), is the single most convoluted piece of crap attempting to masquerade itself as pretentious and arty that I have seen in years.

The film’s multiple mini-plots, including a film crew, a modernized filming of “The Dutchess of Malfi,” and a hotel run by cannibals who pray upon the guests, never really go anywhere. That could be due to the fact that the majority of the film involved the actors improvisation of their lines… Now improvisation is wonderful, for skits and the like, but when you’re attempting a feature length film with so many sub-plots it sort of works against you. Most anything I managed to understand was only from reading about 12 different synopsis (synopsi, or whatever the plural may be… I’ve never had to refernce twelve of them) Judging from the variations between the summaries I would say that they, like myself, had no clue what in the hell was going on.

Long durations of split and double split screens served only to further confuse the viewer, for instance… Are the cannibals vampires? Is that why their eyes glow? Did the producer order the hit on the director? If so, why does he then give himself to the hitman / cannibal? How does the director come out of his coma? Does it have anything to do with the maid mounting him? I have no clue. The critics have no clue. Hell, Figgis himself probably had no clue.

“Hotel” stands as proof that a movie cannot be judged by its back cover… The front cover proclaims it “Clever, Funny, Erotic!” or some schlep at the New York Post did anyway… I suppose it is if by funny he meant odd, clever he meant you won’t get it, and erotic he meant you see tits, bush, and cock for thirty seconds… So don’t judge it by its front cover either.

In summary, “Hotel” sucked. All of the A-list actors it garnered should have run for cover, and the only showings it should receive ought to be in film school “What NOT to Do” classes. If you want to spend two hours doing something fun, why not tryout the cool interactive animation I linked to in this post?

Hours of Fun and Amusement…

Are you bored? Want to spend a few hours completely entranced? Look no further than Angie Smith’s blog Moving On… There’s a fun little interactive animation there that will undoubtedly bring happiness and pleasure for hours!

del.icio.us Links for 2006-04-16

Here are some more places on the net you might like, but you don’t have to take my word for it… Oh, wait, yes you do…

Probably the Most Accurate Results Ever…

Senor ShrubI was recently made aware that if you enter “failure” into Google and hit “I’m Feeling Lucky” you get redirected to the White House biography of George W. Bush.

Frankly, thse were the quickest and most accurate results I’ve ever gotten from Google… No search results, ads, or other fluff to dig through. Just this biography and a picture of Dubya that’ll make you cringe. It’s almost as if Google is jacked directly into my conciousness and knew just what I was looking for… If this is the future of search, bring it on, cause I’m lovin’ it!

UPDATE :: 19 APR 2006

After trying numerous random search terms (alright, three or four) I stumbled across this other gem… Google “moron” and click “I’m Feeling Lucky” and you’ll be redirected to President Moron, about, you guessed it, Dubya!

Becoming Goliath

Palestinian GirlRecent reports on the Washington Post and BBC sites leave me once again troubled with the Israeli government. It seems, that as time drags on and the roadmap becomes ever more tattered, the goverment of Israel takes on the role of brutish Goliath while the Palestinian people step into character as the meek David. Only no stone will ever topple this Goliath. Not some Kalishnakov-weilding, stone-throwing Palestinian malcontents, nor the bellicose attitude of neighboring Iran, or any other Middle Eastern state. Israel is the region’s most powerful state, if not individually, then undisputedly with the US as it’s most ardent backer.

It is exactly because of the power that Israel holds in the region that the Israeli / Palestinian conflict should not still be happening. A powerful nation with a modern army, strong economy, powerful allies, and strong infrastructure should not be involved in the systematic ghetto-ification and breaking of a people.

The majority of Palestinian’s want to coexist with the Israelis, seperated by a wall or otherwise. A minority belong to militant groups that far beyond the control of a government which for years has barely been able to fund its payroll and keep its infrastructure sound amid occupation. The government has no credibilty with the various militias in Palestine, it is consistently emasculated by Israeli military actions. It has little if any power over much of anything in the territories at this point. The Palestinian people voted for Hamas because since 1967 their situation has changed little, because of a war declared by other countries. We congratulate the Israeli government for taking unilateral steps to dismantel Gaza and West Bank settlements, but do not demand it live up to the responsibility it has to, as the more powerful nation, take the high road. Construct a wall. Construct a moat. But comply with U.N. resolutions and fall back to the pre-1967 borders, dismantle all settlements, and give-up East Jerusalem.

The longer this goes on, the more sympathetic everyday Palestinians become to armed cause, and the more the ranks swell for militant groups like the Al Asqa Martyrs Brigade and Hamas. I sometimes think that this may actually be Israel’s intention. By increasing Palestinian hostility, Israel can make small concessions such as shedding settlements too deep in Palestinian territory while constructing a barrier that sorrounds other settlements and will form an eventual de facto border. Palestinian bombings and rocket attacks will be used to solidify international support for the wall and Israel’s eventual unilateral declaration of it’s “final” borders which will undoubtedly consist of wide swatches of Palestinian land and the entirety of East Jerusalem.

There is no doubt that the targeting of Israeli civillians by Palestinian militants is wrong, but at the same time, we should recognize that the sheer number of Palestian civilian casualties during Israeli targetted killings is just as wrong. This excerpt from the BBC simply serves to illustrate what is less ear-catching than a suicide bomber on a bus, but just as repugnant:

People gathered in a clearing next to an olive grove on Tuesday to mourn the latest civilian victim of the shelling, eight-year-old Hadil Ghraben.

Israel has used self-propelled guns and planes to attack Gaza

She was watching television in her house in the northern village of Beit Lahiya when an Israeli shell came crashing through the roof, killing her instantly.

Seven of her brothers and sisters were hurt.

The Israelis admit there was no militant rocket fire from the area at the time but they say there had been earlier, and that they had been trying to deter more.

Israel must fight the militant groups on the ground, without human shields, without razing their houses and leaving an entire family homeless, without attack helicopters inadvertantly raining rockets and hell-fire on a little girl’s bedroom.

Hamas must tear a page from the IRA handbook for transitioning terrorist organizations and recognize Israel’s right to exist and embrace a political solution. The Palestinian security forces must work hand-in-hand with the IDF to capture suspected terrorists and recieving both financial and tactical support from the international community.

And all of us must demand a fair and equitable solution with no regard to politics, lobbies, allies, or past events. There are far too many innocent Palestinians caught in the middle, ordinary poor people with little control over their own lives. Isolating Hamas and the will of the Palestinian people will only breed further contempt and mistrust. It is the responsibility of Goliath to take the hand of Hamas and guide them, now is the time to help Hamas grow from its terrorist roots to the political bloom many Palestinian’s obviously believe it capable of…

The Health Insurance that Got Away…

In late 1999, tired of the cold and snow, I voyaged south to the Sunshine State. I figured lower wages were an acceptable trade off for good weather. I mean come on, no state income tax? Beats the hell out of Tax-a-chusetts right? It did for a while. Then the Massachusetts legislature did something real nice… They came up with a plan for more-or-less universal health coverage.

Under the Massachusetts plan, everyone in the state would be required to carry health insurance, much like auto insurance. Those who don’t will face a fine amounting to about half the cost of the cheapest available health insurance plan. Can’t afford it? Well, if you make less than the federal poverty limit, you only have to pay co-payments when you visit a doctor’s office. If you make up to three times the poverty limit, you qualify for state subsidized insurance plans. The idea in mind is to cap rates at a maximum of $200 - $250 per month for the most expensive plans. Employers who don’t offer insurance would be required to pay $300 per year per uninsured employee into the fund that subsidizes insurance for those who can’t afford it. And if you really just can’t get any insurance at all, there is always a waiver.

But here I am, destitute in Florida with no health coverage. Knowing Massachusetts is the most progressive state in the union, I probably should have just waited it out. Sure, I wouldn’t have had all the great weather, but global warming is at least accelerating.